One of the greatest privileges of working with caregivers in CoA is being invited into stories that people rarely share openly. Behind every conversation is a unique journey, filled with moments of love, uncertainty, loss, hope, and growth. As I listened to these stories, I realised that what stayed with me most was not the adversity itself, but how people chose to respond to it. These experiences have changed not only how I understand caregiving, but also how I understand strength.
One caregiver, in particular, left a lasting impression on me.
She was caring for her husband, who was living with early-stage dementia. Every day brought new misunderstandings, repeated conversations, and emotional conflicts. As his condition changed, so did the demands of caregiving. She often felt trapped, with little personal space and almost no time to care for herself. The emotional burden became so overwhelming that she sought psychiatric support.
Despite everything, she never stopped trying.
Rather than accepting that nothing could improve, she continued searching for ways to better care for both her husband and herself. She turned to social workers and psychiatrists for guidance, learning new ways to communicate with her husband. With the support of social workers and psychiatrists, she gradually learned new ways to communicate with her husband. As she patiently applied what she had learned, she discovered approaches that reduced conflict and helped her better understand his changing needs. What changed most was not her circumstances, but the way she responded to them.
When I met her again several months later, I noticed a different kind of confidence. Her circumstances had not become easier, but she had changed. She spoke calmly about knowing when to reassure, when to redirect, and when to let go of unnecessary arguments.
That conversation changed the way I think about strength. I realised that while we cannot always choose the circumstances life gives us, we can choose how we respond to them. Watching her continue to learn, adapt, and seek support reminded me that our greatest strength is not found in controlling every situation, but in how we choose to face it. As someone working alongside caregivers, I often think that I am there to support them. Yet, more often than not, they are the ones teaching me.
(Image generated by ChatGPT)
Note. The caregiver provided informed consent for her experience to be shared. To protect her privacy, identifying details have been changed.
By: Maggie WONG, Research Assistant
Email: maggiewk@hku.hk